This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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