she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
