In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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