ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
