I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
