I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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