Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This baby is an asshole
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
