I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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