btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just want to make out with him forever
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
