Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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