the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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