Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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