Whod you bang
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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