just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
