If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
