the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
