i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
