i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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