It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
