I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
