i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
