this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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