he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
