hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
