So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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