these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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