sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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