I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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