I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm at about main and main street
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
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