Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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