Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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