The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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