Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
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