Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
