are you so shy because you have an std?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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