You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
