you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
