You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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