Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's blow job season.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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