I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
