Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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