well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
