I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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