It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
