you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
