I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My pussy is not your playground.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
