the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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