my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
