i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do vagina's smell?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Can I color on your dick again?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
