oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
