Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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