Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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