Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
