it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
too bad you live with your parents still
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
