I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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