Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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