Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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