Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
